Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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