i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
handjob tips. give me some.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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