Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
