so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
