He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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