Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
