with your own penis?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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