ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
