Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
