yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
