He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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