All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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