Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I CAN MOONWALK!
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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