Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
