Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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