he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
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I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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