D3 body, D1 cock
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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