My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
