people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
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party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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