i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
