Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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