Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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