Little spoons don't ask big questions
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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