we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
