he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize