Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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