So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
