I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
