Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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