one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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