There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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