I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
