The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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