is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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