you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You need Xanax blowdarts
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize