Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
