you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
love makes seman taste better
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
