When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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