i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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