So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
your room smells of hookers.
And success
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
