You made me cry and you don't even care
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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