he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
