whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize