Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
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I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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