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Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
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