dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
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Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.