Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.

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  (860): he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot. http://tfl.nu/hpow
  Replies (87) Good night (1218) Bad night (6337)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers

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  (252): I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers http://tfl.nu/269f
  Replies (6) Good night (3733) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  we're about an hour out, how's the weather?

  (720): View more from Colorado

  cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.

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  (303): we're about an hour out, how's the weather? (720): cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home. http://tfl.nu/na0o
  Replies (14) Good night (6149) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night

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  (815): I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night http://tfl.nu/p9mu
  Replies (5) Good night (1174) Bad night (2445)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number

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  (412): He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number http://tfl.nu/oocs
  Replies (6) Good night (2992) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.

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  (+44): On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling. http://tfl.nu/fq4v
  Replies (0) Good night (907) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips

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  (850): Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips http://tfl.nu/pmcc
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms

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  (+61): he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms http://tfl.nu/3nr0
  Replies (14) Good night (1817) Bad night (686)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.

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  (907): When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President. http://tfl.nu/0joq
  Replies (13) Good night (1666) Bad night (571)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it

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  (336): Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it http://tfl.nu/7tpk
  Replies (2) Good night (353) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".

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  (859): Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises". http://tfl.nu/cuat
  Replies (11) Good night (401) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.

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  (563): He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him. http://tfl.nu/nqw4
  Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (247)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.

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  (239): Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse. http://tfl.nu/h54v
  Replies (1) Good night (285) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.

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  (419): Oh and yeah that does count as public urination. http://tfl.nu/7asx
  Replies (0) Good night (357) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.

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  (812): We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics. http://tfl.nu/9g6f
  Replies (1) Good night (661) Bad night (161)

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