i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.