Texts From Last Night

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  (559): View more from California

  kristin has been a bad kristin

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  (559): kristin has been a bad kristin http://tfl.nu/ekqq
  Replies (15) Good night (2137) Bad night (597)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  i'd get off the bar first.

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  (216): my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing? (1-216): i'd get off the bar first. http://tfl.nu/xsi2
  Replies (18) Good night (701) Bad night (2866)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here

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  (515): Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here http://tfl.nu/owjx
  Replies (12) Good night (4541) Bad night (534)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.

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  (303): I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete. http://tfl.nu/q4l5
  Replies (19) Good night (4693) Bad night (1169)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.

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  (860): So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out. http://tfl.nu/xnc4
  Replies (11) Good night (5301) Bad night (1119)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.

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  (202): There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again. http://tfl.nu/5erg
  Replies (18) Good night (2656) Bad night (631)
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  (714): View more from California

  i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo

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  (714): i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo http://tfl.nu/2wsz
  Replies (2) Good night (1143) Bad night (365)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge

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  (518): Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge http://tfl.nu/f69s
  Replies (5) Good night (1485) Bad night (457)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"

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  (407): I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry" http://tfl.nu/fy98
  Replies (4) Good night (532) Bad night (1146)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.

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  (541): I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that. http://tfl.nu/zm0m
  Replies (3) Good night (1388) Bad night (478)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.

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  (509): The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift. http://tfl.nu/2o45
  Replies (9) Good night (534) Bad night (1798)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.

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  (210): I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers. http://tfl.nu/eiw9
  Replies (8) Good night (1754) Bad night (691)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.

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  (815): I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life. http://tfl.nu/262m
  Replies (8) Good night (841) Bad night (402)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole

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  (206): I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole http://tfl.nu/tvcl
  Replies (2) Good night (673) Bad night (307)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.

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  (775): He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it. http://tfl.nu/09j3
  Replies (2) Good night (87) Bad night (66)

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