Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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