a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
