woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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