the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
