Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
