Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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