My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize