We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
