Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
