Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize