There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
