apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
