he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
