my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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